I can’t believe it’s been months since my last post. The days have been busy with physical things to take care of, but not just. Mothers tend to carry so much more. There is so much inner, invisible work that goes on.
The last few weeks of school are hectic for me. There are camping trips, plays and programs. Ours is the kind of school that requires so much parental support and woe to the mom who is more involved than her peers. This year, my oldest son is graduating from lower school as well and there is an extra project for a yearbook that I have to contend with. A week after his graduation, he will be confirmed in our church. Then we all fly off and meet somewhere in another part of the world. I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to do house repairs as well. So much is going on inside me, outwardly through events and behind the scenes as I prepare. Then there is the everyday living and organizing. Whoever said that career women do more?
I haven’t decided yet if all the electronic communication is helping. If people are polite enough to answer, I guess it might be a positive. We can get more things done without leaving the house–that’s a positive, too. But that things come so fast and unbidden while we are at home through our gadgets–that, I’m not so happy about. But I’m not naive enough to say I can do without. It’s all part of our reality now and we just have to make sure we are not overwhelmed by it all.
What I find to be a tremendous balm are moments of perfection. When I look upon my sleeping boys right before I wake them. When my teenager receives and returns my morning kisses and hugs. When my little boy reaches to make sure I put my head on his pillow and wriggles into me until we are the warmest, most perfect spoon. These are moments that fill me to the brim.
Everyday I have this with both my boys: A moment of pure love. As long as I can look upon it with gratitude and appreciation, I am good to go again.
Hi Ms Panjee, I wonder why you haven’t been writing in Philippine Star anymore. I and my sister used to look forward reading your Sunday column. We would talk about how natural your stories are, unlike some columnists who sugarcoat things and make it appear that life is perfect. We know you’re a busy mom but we hope that one day we’ll be able to see you again in any broadsheet. God bless you and your two boys.
Hi Kat. I wasn’t a good fit with The Star. I write for Rappler now, but not weekly. I also have another blog http://www.waldorfmom.wordpress.com. Thanks for dropping by.
Hi! Just curious as to where was the photo above taken, as it reminds me so much of the island of Guimaras. Thank you!
Hi Ging. It must be the same island.
It used to be a family haunt.
Hi, Panjee! I love reading your musings. Particularly, when they touch a nerve in me, making me yearn for those moments that slipped by. I am reduced to (hopeless?) longings for those beautiful and serene days when the small things matter the most, like spending time with family and friends, living in the moment…
Mon, salamat as usual. I’ve been such a palpak blogger. I need to really write more. Thanks for the inspiration.
Hi, Panjee! I don’t think you’re a palpal blogger. I tried to start a blog, but couldn’t arrange my thoughts as to what I could write on. So, it’s just there in the ether at the moment. Perhaps, constant replies and comments in your blog will prompt you to write, haha! But, yes, write more, so I can read more of your wonderful musings. God bless!