It’s day 2 of 2016. Unlike many who met the day with spanking new outfits and freshly fluffed optimism, I spent day 1 in my pajamas, transitioning into the new year with a touch of internal friction. The night before was fitful at best; there were fireworks too close to my once idyllic and quiet home (yes, I’m one of the weirdos who enjoys meeting the New Year quietly). There was haze where once was clear, unsullied sky. I did not have a peaceful sleep and woke up feeling sluggish and unenthusiastic. The only bright thing ahead were my pink polka dot pajamas. So I stayed in them. All day.
Part of me kept playing back a voice from my childhood that said “if you stay in your pajamas, you will rot in them for all of 2016”, but I’ve reached a point in my life where I can hear it, wink at it, and get on with what I choose, despite its persistent looping. I was having a pajama kind of day and nothing would make me struggle against it. The boys were still away and I had the house to myself, so it was clear what I had to do.
Still, I traded New Year greetings and well wishes, even if I did not have the kind of energy everyone else seemed to have. Again a voice from the past chided me and I saw, in my mind’s eye, a more acceptable me flitting around the house with brushes and mops–polishing my home for 2016 to high shine. Then I thought, “acceptable to whom”? Not me. Actual me was still cloaked in last night’s pink polka dots, hands around a coffee mug, aching for a refill. Yesterday, me in my pajamas felt warm and snug–and that’s where I needed to be.
Today, I’m already in my workout clothes, getting my first blog post out, and feeling a little lighter and more purposeful. It feels as though I came through and birthed a quiet, more real me–no glitter and gloss and definitely not social media worthy (a good sign)–but lots more me. I would not have had the desire to do much today if I hadn’t allowed myself the full pajama experience yesterday. We need those days to feel what we need to. I find it takes care of whatever ails us in a most thorough manner. I have bikini days and pajama days, mind you, and find both practices equally effective!
So, it looks like my New Year is going to be all about being mindful and accepting of where I am and giving myself permission to be lackluster, if that’s what the day calls for. 2016 is calling me to be real and sometimes being in your pajamas is as good as it gets.