They have been everywhere for me lately.
A few weeks ago, she came in the form of a heartfelt text message from a friend I hardly see. Her message said, “I’m feeling you, sister. Is everything ok?” She was an unexpected life raft that day and she didn’t even know it. We decided it was time to make good on our constant “lets-get-togethers”. She chose a nice place to eat and made me laugh. We had a great time connecting and hugged each other with much appreciation when we parted.
I’ve also been exchanging emails with a friend who is not in my immediate circle, but who is somehow in the fabric of my life–a thread that runs deep. She goes right to the heart of things , even though we haven’t seen each other in years and are not friends enough to plan a meet-up. A buddy from long ago reappeared in my journey through a phone call when I was in his time zone early this year. We chatted as if no time had passed and finally shared a meal, finding ourselves in the same part of the world at last. Our conversation was full–on consciousness, love, loss, the health of the earth, the choices we make, the stories of our lives. We could have stayed for hours more if I didn’t have to run off to a therapy session for my shoulder.
Then there are my steadies–one with whom I seem to always be on a parallel journey and another who is a surprise but very welcome companion on this round. We encourage each other, keep each other in check, reach out when we have slipped or feel extra vulnerable.
A few days ago, my son handed me an envelope. I gasped when I opened it and saw a dvd with a white lotus on the cover. I have recently adopted the lotus flower as my totem because I feel a commitment and urgency to open my heart and allow divinity to blossom in me. The dvd was a song accompanied by images of flowers, most of them lotuses. I’m pretty sure the sender does not know anything about my recent choices, so again I accepted this as grace–the universe showing me that the path I’m on is fully supported.
I’ve been taking a class with Caroline Myss and every week I am in awe of how she seems to put in context and great perspective whatever question I am carrying. I take that entire day to stay home; the lessons and feelings that move within me after the sessions require introspection. My new Facebook feed is also full of messages that inspire and support this renewed journey I am on, simply because I put deliberate thought into what sort of information appears on my timeline.
I recognize that all these uplifting messages are not the only blessing. There are also angels who made this journey possible by co-creating difficulty and pain with me, ultimately leading to this sacred space I could only visit through my experiences with them.
I am fortunate that I can see and appreciate all these forces in my life today. I have been praying like nobody’s business, asking to be a vessel of integrity and healing, to learn the lessons of love, to open my heart rather than give in to the pull of nailing it shut — and for good. I am doing work on the ground for sure, lifting my thoughts out of the past and towards the future, taking them out of the heaviness and into the light, and all these graces affirm that all is as it should be. They just knock my socks right off.
Now all I have to be is awake, aware and grateful. And so I am.