Is that an oxymoron?
My relationship with Facebook has been love-hate at best. I’ve left it and come back so many times. The last two times had to do with life changes I did not want played out online. I needed new boundaries for this new space I was in that hadn’t quite defined itself. And Facebook is lousy at that. I couldn’t go to it without being pulled in different directions. I left and it was good.
It’s been a little over a month since my last deactivation and I have been enjoying the quiet. But I enrolled in an online course with a Facebook support community that I thought would be worth the return. I was also starting to miss the access I had to writers, poets, and other healers and personalities whom I respect and follow.
Since I am in an entirely new phase in my life, I thought it fitting to leave my Facebook past behind as well, and start anew. So I did not reactivate; I created a new account. I have to say there was something pretty wonderful about opening a fresh new page and starting on a history-free slate. Oh, the freedom! I wanted this page to be specific to the classes I am taking and people I wanted to follow–nothing else. I don’t want casual conversations with people I hardly know. I don’t want to be “friends” with someone who isn’t really a friend and I don’t want people to have too much of a window into my thoughts, vacations, views, joys, sorrows, milestones, heartaches–my life. I left my old account because I felt too exposed. It had become a space of discomfort–no longer a home that could hold me safely. I am going to do things differently this time and not make it a personal page. It will be a functional one–a personal inspiration and resource page.
Then the friend requests started pouring in. I have been able to explain to a few friends and acquaintances that I am not snubbing them, and am opening an account that is different in nature, but the requests just won’t stop, and I am not inclined to spend my days explaining anything. So now I am simply accepting family and people who actually relate to me on Facebook, then unfollowing every single one, so I only get the news I like. I don’t want to peep into someone else’s life. I will not have conversations on my wall, but I will engage privately.
I am done with random and mindless. I just want all my connections to be conscious and authentic. Facebook makes it too easy and that is not always a good thing.
So, conscious Facebook. Maybe there’s hope.